


So much trouble I must be behind

by Port_in_a_Storm



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst, Awkward truce, Established Relationship, F/M, Families of Choice, Family Dinner, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, M/M, Roblivion, Slice of Life, Sugden feud
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-19
Updated: 2016-06-19
Packaged: 2018-07-16 00:22:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7244695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Port_in_a_Storm/pseuds/Port_in_a_Storm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Family dinner with the Sugdens was doomed from the start.</p>
            </blockquote>





	So much trouble I must be behind

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! This was meant to be something, but turned into something else. I had intended to put this into my Roblivion series, but it turned out more Sugden brother based than I had originally planned. I really want to make Andy and Robert get along because I love the idea of Robert being the first person Andy tells about him kissing Bernice! I want brother bonding. But, anyway, I hope you all enjoy this little awkward family dinner.
> 
> Thank you all so much for the kudos and comments on my other fics. You have no idea how much it means to me. Enjoy!

‘I don’t understand why I have to go,’ Liv complained. 

Aaron huffed. ‘Because the three of us do stuff with my side of the family all the time,’ he said impatiently. ‘So the least you can do, Liv, is return the favour when it’s just one dinner with Rob’s family.’

She rolled her eyes. ‘I had plans to go out with Gabby.’

She didn’t back down from Aaron’s strict eyes. ‘You’re goin’, whether you like it or not!’ In response his teenaged sister stomped upstairs and slammed her bedroom door closed. 

At that moment, Robert walked through the door, tired from a day’s work. ‘What was that?’ he asked. 

Aaron ran a hand down his face and sank down onto to sofa. ‘Liv. She’s puttin’ up a fuss about this dinner tonight.’

Robert sat next to him and rubbed his shoulders. ‘Hey you know, if she doesn’t want to go then—’

‘No, she _needs_ to go,’ Aaron interrupted firmly. ‘I already told her: we spend more than enough time with the Dingles, meanwhile we haven’t met up with your side since we moved into the flat.’

‘Yeah, but if it’s gonna cause more trouble than it’s worth…’ He leant in and kissed Aaron’s cheek. ‘I don’t want you stressing about this, Baby.’

‘I’m not!’ he snapped. At Robert’s raised eyebrows, he let out a long breath and closed his eyes. ‘I’m not,’ he repeated, calmer this time. ‘I just think… she’s being difficult on purpose.’

Robert rubbed his boyfriend’s shoulders again. ‘Let me speak to her,’ he suggested. ‘Then, if she still doesn’t seem keen, we’ll leave her to it.’

Aaron’s eyes flicked from Robert’s mouth to his understanding eyes. He leaned forward and kissed him softly. ‘I love you,’ he murmured. ‘My peacekeeper.’

The older man chuckled in amusement and went upstairs. He knocked on Liv’s door. ‘I’m not going, Aaron!’ she yelled.

‘It’s me, Liv. Can I come in?’

There was a moment’s pause. ‘Yeah.’

Liv was lying on her bed, her earphones in but clearly not listening to anything because she heard Robert’s soft knock. He sat on her double bed and nudged her until she looked at him and pulled her earphones out. ‘You alright?’ he asked. Liv shrugged. ‘Come on. What’s up?’

Again she shrugged, this time accompanied with a mumbled ‘nothing.’

Robert let out a breath and kicked his shoes off. He shuffled up on the bed next to her, leaning his back against the headboard. ‘Right, so I’ll guess then.’ She frowned up at him. ‘Is it… about tonight’s dinner?’

Liv rolled her eyes. ‘Aaron’s already told you.’

‘He might have mentioned it, yeah.’ He smiled at her but she didn’t return it. He sighed. ‘Can I be honest with you?’ This time she gave him a curious glance. ‘I’m not _really_ looking forward to tonight either.’

She frowned and sat up a bit more. ‘But… it’s your family.’

‘Yeah. But… if I had it my way, I’d have a meal with Vic and Diane. Adam could come along as well, y’know, if he has to.’ She laughed, because she knew in reality Robert was getting to be quite fond of his brother-in-law. ‘But this whole… _family_ thing. Vic invited my brother, Andy. She didn’t tell him I was going to be there as well, so he agreed.’ He let out a mirthless laugh. ‘To be honest, if I have to sit around a table with my brother, trying to make conversation while he shoots daggers at me, I’d prefer it if you and Aaron weren’t there. I don’t need to drag you into this.’

Liv looked down at her hands. ‘Does Aaron know that?’

‘Mhm. I told him when Vic invited us.’

‘So why is he still going then?’

‘I think he likes to remind me that he’s on my side.’ He nudged her shoulder. ‘I’m not that well-liked here, in case you haven’t noticed.’

She grimaced, thinking about the gunshot wound that she had begged to see months ago. Robert’s pleading _‘I don’t want to talk about this’_ rang through her head. 

‘But honestly,’ he continued, ‘I’d prefer it if he wasn’t going either.’ He shook his head. ‘It’s gonna be painful enough, having to sit through a dinner with Andy without Aaron piping up in my defence every few seconds. So if you don’t want to come, Liv, I’m not gonna be the one to convince you otherwise.’ He smiled at her. ‘No hard feelings, alright? And I’ll tell Aaron to lay off you as well.’

‘I just… I don’t want them lookin’ at me like, I dunno, like I’m from some stupid broken home.’

‘Is that what you’re worried about?’ Robert said incredulously. ‘Liv, my family was hardly _together_ when Diane married my Dad. We’ve all had our trials, you know. It’s what makes us human.’

‘What if they don’t like me?’

And that was the heart of the problem, wasn’t it? Liv was scared of meeting brand new people because, just like him and Aaron, she was worried of what people thought of her. 

‘Hey, they’re gonna _love_ you, trust me. Diane will be fawning all over you. Vic will want to take you away from us, probably.’ She smiled, the first time during their talk. ‘Just be yourself: the girl that Aaron and I know.’ He patted her forearm. ‘But there’s still no pressure to go, okay? You have to be comfortable.’ Impulsively, he put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her into a one-armed hug. 

****

Aaron was in their room, standing by the open wardrobe. Robert stood behind him and circled his waist. ‘Hmm, what to wear?’ he murmured into his boyfriend’s ear, sending shivers down his spine. ‘The black hoodie, the black hoodie, or the black hoodie.’ Aaron let out a bark of laughter and pushed him away.

‘Shurrup! I have nice clothes.’

‘You like them, Baby, doesn’t mean they’re _nice_.’ Aaron flipped him the bird and Robert grinned.

‘So?’ Aaron said whilst Robert took a choice of shirts off the rail. ‘What did Liv have to say for herself?’

‘We got to the root of the problem,’ Robert said. ‘But honestly, Aaron, I don’t want to push her to do this. I told you before, I didn’t want you to go either.’

‘Yeah, and I told _you_ that I was on your side.’ Aaron took the shirts from Robert’s hands and leant into his chest. ‘It’s not gonna be easy, Rob, and I want to be there for you.’

Robert pulled Aaron to him, closing his eyes and relishing the feel of the man in his arms. ‘You’re stubborn as a mule, Aaron Dingle.’

‘It’s one of my better qualities.’

Robert laughed and buried a kiss in Aaron’s hair, gel-free after a shower. ‘Come on then.’ He pat his boyfriend on the bum. ‘Let’s get ready before Vic has to give us a call.’

****

Aaron _had_ found something nice to wear, much to Robert’s shock. It was a long-sleeved, button-up shirt, a light grey colour. When he asked him about it, and why he’d never seen it before, Aaron’s eyes turned sad. ‘Hazel, Jackson’s mum, sent it for one of my birthdays. It was way too big when I got it, but it fits now. I actually forgot I had it until I packed up to move here.’ Robert folded him in his arms again, and Aaron let himself be comforted for a moment before he pushed Robert away gently, clearing his throat and wiping at his eyes.

‘I take it Liv isn’t coming?’ Aaron said when they were both downstairs. The corridors and stairway smelled like Robert’s cologne, and Aaron breathed in deep. It was one of the things that he loved coming home to, especially when Robert was away on business and his boyfriend wasn’t around.

Robert shook his head. ‘Doesn’t seem like it.’ Just then her door opened, and Liv trotted downstairs in her black trousers and a t-shirt. Her brother raised his eyebrow, but broke into a smile.

As she passed Robert on the way out the door, she said loud enough so only he could hear, ‘I’m on your side, too.’ Robert’s heart swelled a little bit.

****

Diane had kindly reserved them all a private table at the B&B: somewhere secluded where, she reckoned, they could talk and laugh like old times. More likely, Robert reckoned, it’d be somewhere that the residents couldn’t hear Andy and he banging their heads together like two rams. He plastered a smile on his face nonetheless when he saw his step-mother, and handed her the bottle of red wine he had bought from David’s on the way here.

‘So good to see you, pet,’ she said smiling, as Robert leaned down to kiss her cheek. ‘It’s been so long since we’ve got together.’

‘Too long,’ he agreed. He stood to the side so that Aaron could give Diane a friendly smile. 

‘And I see you’ve bought a date,’ she said playfully. Robert blushed, but couldn’t help the smile erupting on his face. ‘How are you, pet?’ she gave Aaron a hug which he returned. ‘And Liv, of course. Robert’s always talking about you. Vic and Adam are here already, so go on through. I’ll just fetch Doug.’

As Robert ushered his small family into the private room, he nudged Liv. ‘See? She’s not so bad, is she?’ Liv shrugged, but he could see that Diane’s natural mothering had put her slightly at ease. Victoria and Adam were talking quietly among themselves when they entered, but when she saw her brother, Vic got to her feet and threw her arms around him.  
‘I’m so glad you’re here! I was worried you’d back out when you heard Andy would be here too.’

‘What, and let my little sister down?’ Robert hugged her, his hands almost covering her back entirely.

Aaron gave her a hug, then sat next to Adam. Even though the two of them had only seen each other that day at work, they launched into talking and laughing as if they hadn’t seen one another in weeks. That kind of comfort and familiarity that Aaron showed around Adam used to make Robert jealous once upon a time. He’d be lying, he supposed, if he said he didn’t still feel it—he probably always would—but what he and Aaron had, was something altogether different and special. It helped, as well, to know that Adam would never want from Aaron what Robert was all too happy to give him: a romantic relationship.

Vic immediately took Liv under her wing. Whether she had picked up on the teenager’s anxiety or she was just being her normal self, Robert was grateful for accepting the younger girl so quickly. They all sat around the table and, once she was sure Liv was alright, Vic turned to Robert. ‘I’m really glad you came,’ she said, quietly enough that no one else would be able to hear them.

‘I know. You said.’ Robert tried to place a playful smile on his face, but it fell just a little short.

Vic grimaced in sympathy and patted her brother’s arm. ‘You don’t have to pretend for me, you know,’ she said. ‘I know that you and Andy have this… thing goin’ on between you. I still don’t know what it’s about, and I won’t ask ‘cause I know you won’t tell me, but I’m just happy that you’re giving it a chance.’

Robert sighed. He had never even entertained the thought of telling Vic about what Andy had done: what part he played in Robert’s shooting. For one, he knew that if he did everything with Katie would come out. Secondly, but perhaps most importantly, he knew that Andy would never ever forgive him. Despite everything, he still loved his brother, and the last thing he’d want was to ostracise him from the family. ‘I’d do anything for you, Vic. You know that.’

She smiled at him. ‘Right. Well, enough of the serious talk. We’re supposed to have a good time tonight.’ She turned her attention back to Liv, who was laughing at something Adam had just said. ‘So Liv, what’s it like living with my brother?’

Liv held the grin on her face when she shrugged. ‘He’s alright. Spends ages in the bathroom though.’

They laughed, and Robert pretended to be offended until he felt Aaron caress his thigh under the table. 

Fifteen minutes later everyone, with the exception of Andy was sitting around the table. Robert could see Victoria getting more and more antsy next to her, and could see Diane’s face drop with every passing minute. ‘Why don’t you give him a call?’ he suggested.

‘No, he’ll be here in a bit, pet.’ Diane smiled. She handed the wine bottle around again, Doug passed beer bottles to Adam and Aaron, and Aaron ignored Liv completely when she asked if she could have an alcoholic drink (‘Beer or wine, I’m not fussed’).

It was another ten minutes before the door opened and both Chrissie and Andy walked in. ‘Sorry we’re late,’ he apologised. ‘She didn’t know what to wear.’

They stopped in the doorway at seeing Robert, Aaron and Liv around the table. ‘You didn’t say they were going to be here,’ Chrissie said, loud enough for them all to hear.

‘Well, they’re all family, so,’ Vic said. 

Robert got up to get another chair for Andy, as no one—apparently—knew beforehand that he was going to bring Chrissie along. Andy gave him a strained smile when Robert gave him the chair. It was something, anyway.

They dished up their dinner from the pots in the middle of the table, and for a while the only sound was cutlery against plates, and noises of appreciation for Diane’s wonderful cooking. It was later, when they had finished eating that anyone spoke. 

Adam cleared his throat. ‘So, how’s the house coming along?’ he asked.

Aaron gave him a look. Adam knew full well how the house was coming along, having been there just a few days ago. ‘Yeah, good. Ta.’

Robert cleared his throat. ‘Yeah, everything’s done,’ he elaborated. He threw Adam a grateful look, fully aware that he was trying to ease the tension. ‘Well, we still have some photos to put up once we have them. Aaron just doesn’t want me to take any of him.’ He shared a small smile with his boyfriend.

‘Aaron, you’re a gorgeous lad!’ Diane gushed, making Aaron blush furiously. ‘Besides, Robert just wants to show off his family.’

Robert smiled, but he heard Chrissie huff and let out a bark of laughter.

‘Chrissie, don’t,’ Andy said.

‘No, you’re right. If he wants to take these poor people for mugs pretending that they’re his family, who am I to tell them otherwise?’

Aaron hissed back at her like a scalded cat. ‘You have no idea about us, so why don’t you just—’

‘Aaron,’ Robert said quietly.

‘No, she wants to be bitter about it, then she can do it in her own time.’

‘Guys, come on,’ Vic pleaded. ‘This is supposed to be a family meal.’

Chrissie laughed. ‘Oh, and they’re family are they?’ she gestured to Aaron and Liv.

‘More family than you are,’ Liv said. 

‘Liv, that’s enough,’ Robert interjected. The last thing he wanted was to drag Aaron’s little sister into something that she didn’t need to be involved in. He pushed his plate away. ‘Look, maybe we should just go.’

‘No, please pet. Sit down. We’re all going to just calm down.’ Everyone settled down, shifting uncomfortably in their seats. ‘Right. All this was supposed to be was a family dinner. We hardly ever get together anymore, so it was about time.’

‘Blame him for that, Diane,’ Andy snarled. He suddenly got to his feet. ‘I’ve had enough of this.’ Before anyone could stop him, he had stormed off. Robert got up as well and put his hand on Diane’s shoulder. 

‘I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘I’ll go after him.’

‘Rob—’

‘Just give us five minutes, Vic.’

He found Andy standing outside the B&B, leaning against the wall. He turned around and immediately frowned when he saw it was Robert. ‘What the hell do you want, Rob?’

Robert shrugged. ‘I just want to make Diane and Vic happy, that’s all. And us sitting together for a whole meal without arguin’ would have done it.’

Andy shook his head. ‘I’m not gonna pretend that everything is fine between us.’

‘Well, you’re gonna have to.’ He had to tread carefully. ‘Andy, you’re with Chrissie now. You’ve moved on. Katie would’ve understood.’

‘Katie? You think all of this is about Katie?’ He turned away from Robert and back to him again in one disjointed movement. ‘I have to go to France to see my kids now,’ he ranted. 'I have to get on a plane and go to see ‘em. Sometimes, Debbie won’t even let me talk to them. Do you have any idea how much that hurts?’

‘No,’ Robert whispered. ‘Andy, I am so sorry that Debbie took your kids away from you. But that wasn’t my fault.’

‘How is that not your—’

‘If you hadn’t arranged that little deal with Ross…’ he trailed off. ‘Andy, we’re rehashing the same old argument. Can we please just try to get along? You have Chrissie, I have Aaron and Liv. We’ve both moved on. Please. You’re my brother.’

Andy eyed him. ‘I can’t forgive you for what you did, Rob. And I am talking about Katie now. You took her away from me forever, and I can’t forgive that.’

‘I know. I know you can’t. But it _was_ an accident.’ He got a nod in response. ‘Just come back in, yeah? Diane’s done sticky toffee pudding for afters.’

For the first time since he got there, Andy smiled. ‘Remember when she used to cook that when Dad was… he loved it. Remember?’

Robert grinned. ‘I remember. She used to cut him the biggest slice. He always refused the custard.’

Andy nodded. ‘Spoiled the taste, he reckoned.’ The brothers shared a laugh. 

‘We used to be so close, me and you,’ Robert said. ‘I don’t want to lose that forever, Andy.’

‘I can be civil,’ Andy said. ‘I can go back in there now and be all nice and brotherly with you, because I don’t want to upset Diane and Vic even more than we already have. But it’s gonna take much longer to get back what we had, Rob. I don’t even know if we can.’

‘I understand. As long as we try, eh?’

They went back inside, and their families were on high alert immediately. ‘It’s okay,’ Robert said. ‘We’ve called a truce.’ As he walked past Aaron, he kissed him lightly on the lips. He took his seat and let out a breath. ‘Dessert?’

****

Goodbyes were awkward. Andy and Robert shook hands, but didn’t keep eye contact for long. Andy stopped Chrissie before she could say anything else to Aaron, for which Robert nodded in gratitude. Vic hugged both her brothers tightly, telling both of them she was so happy they got through a dinner together. That made Robert even guiltier, even though Vic didn’t mean it maliciously. She shouldn’t have to say things like that to her own brothers: they should just be able to get along, no questions asked.

Diane was equally as grateful to Robert and Andy for being civil over dessert at least. ‘Maybe next time we can try for the full meal, eh?’ she asked them. She said it playfully enough, but Robert could see the hurt in her eyes. All she had wanted was to keep her beloved husband’s family together and thanks to him and Andy, she felt that she had failed him. He hugged her extra tightly before he left and noticed that Andy did the same. Their eyes met over their step-mother’s head. If nothing else, they had to try harder for her and Vic.

When Robert, Aaron and Liv returned home, Robert threw his keys on the table tiredly. 

‘And I thought me and my Mum were messed up,’ Liv said. There was no ire behind it though, and she smiled at Robert. ‘I’m going to bed.’

Robert sat on the sofa whilst Aaron changed his shirt. He dropped his head into his hands. He heard, later, Aaron’s footsteps behind him but didn’t look up until he felt his boyfriend rub his hands across his stiff shoulders. ‘Hey,’ Aaron whispered.

‘Hey.’ 

Aaron sat next to him and drew him to his side. ‘I’m sorry about tonight,’ Robert said after a moment’s silence. 

‘Don’t be daft.’ He kissed Robert’s head. ‘Was tonight just about Katie?’ he asked.

Robert tensed. He couldn’t lie to Aaron. ‘No,’ he said. 

‘So, what—’

‘Aaron. Just leave it, yeah?’ He didn’t want to get into that. Least of all tonight. He was tired enough as it was. 

‘Fine. But one day, I’ll find out.’

‘I don’t doubt it.’ They held each other’s eyes and kissed softly. ‘I’m gonna make tea,’ Robert said. ‘You want a cup?’ 

Aaron put his hand on Robert’s chest. ‘I’ll make it. Stay here.’ 

His boyfriend was in the kitchen when Robert heard the knock at the door. He went to answer it. The last person he expected to find standing there was his brother. ‘Andy,’ he said, surprised.

Andy stood shuffling his feet. ‘Can I come in?’ he asked. Robert stood back, letting him into the house.

Just as he was about to offer Andy a drink, Aaron came out of the kitchen, a steaming cup of tea in hand for Robert. ‘Oh,’ he said. ‘Um… here.’ He as good as thrust the tea into Robert’s hand. ‘I’ll be upstairs.’ He touched Robert on the arm before he left.

The brothers listened to his footsteps on the stairs, and until the bedroom door closed. ‘Cuppa?’ Robert asked. 

‘No. Thanks. I’m not stayin’.’ He rubbed his hands together nervously. ‘Just wondered if you wanted to go for a drink tomorrow afternoon? In the pub?’

Robert’s eyes widened. ‘Oh. Um… yeah. Okay. Thanks.’ He winced at how stupid he sounded. This was his brother for god’s sake. ‘That’d be nice. Cheers, Andy.’

His brother smiled, but it was strained around the edges. ‘Great. Okay. So, I’ll see you tomorrow. Around five, yeah?’

‘Yeah. Okay.’

The air lingered with things unsaid, but neither of them had the strength to address them yet. Robert showed him to the door when Andy made a move to leave. ‘Andy,’ he said just before he closed the door. ‘I want to try,’ he said. ‘I miss us.’

Andy nodded. He didn’t agree, he didn’t say anything else. But he nodded. It was a start.

**Author's Note:**

> Come have a nosy on tumblr!: [](http://www.portinastorm.tumblr.com)Port in a Storm
> 
> The title comes from 'Hold on' by Sons of the East (amazing band!) The line is actually 'So much trouble I must leave behind', but I misheard it the first time, then thought that 'be' suited this fic better!


End file.
